i think i’m gonna deactivate. its not a productive use of time, I get 0 engagement, and im annoying. its probably best for everyone, and ik no ones gonna miss me... why do you keep reading this? do you like me? do you want me to push you against the wall and kiss you? do you wan

Hello world. Many times have i been set off in anger and despair when i am forced to lay my eyes upon the scariest, most creature-esque freak man ive ever seen in my perfect life. And i seriously cant help but vocalize my disgust audibly.

ive been listening to bullets a lot more!!!!!! I love American Rock Band My Chemical Romance. Emo era anyone? Live and breathe and die alone! Honestly. Honestly i hate mcr fans who refuse to listen to danger days they remind me of lorde fans who hate solar power: you people hate hapiness and fun. That being said, i refuse to listen to joyful music. It only strengthens my pessimism. i have been playing white noise at a very loud volume all day

Have you guys seen the bye bye man movie? Its a really bad movie but i love it. Like Ma or Thankskilling. Feeling like angst and anger and hatred. I used to be soooo hopeful and happy but now i am a sad girl. I am a crybaby. I am a force to be wreckened with! because of my despair and hopelessness, i am a misandrist again. Men (except my blog fans) Do Not Interact! I will bite. I love reading, and i love writing too. Feeling joyous and happy. Im like the joker.

I love gay people and think theyre beautiful

The things i love the most right now: Painting my nails, Yellow-toned light, Myself

I WANT TO SAY SOMETHINg.ALl of you freaks who make fun of me for never publishing this blog i cry nightly. I know i lie. I know i say i will publish and then i dont. My worst and only bad flaw. IM serious you are all going to hell. You are so right though

im incredibly excited for john wick. I love loud gun movie.

.. .

sooooo i finally watched lords of chaos.

for context: lords of chaos is a move loosely(very loosely) based on the words first black metal band Mayhem. They are v infamous and when their lead singer killed himself they used the scene of his suicide as an album cover. They are freaks. And then one of the guys ended up killing the other. I hate the band love the genre

I have been the worlds first girl metalhead for maybe 3 or 4 years now. Here is the key problem with the movie: i hate euronymous so why did they have to get the most cutest boy to play him? Rory culkin u are going to hell. I cant help but be embarrassed listening to any metalhead speak. The movie opens like a teen girl dramedy "Hi.. Im euronymous!!! Im just your average teen girl… But i have a secret… Im in a norwegian black metal band :3" ?????? not even joking thats basically how the movie starts. i wish i saved my time rewatching deathgasm because at least that movie is silly and cute. This isnt the worst movie ive seen but i generally hate any metalhead movie (besides deathgasm my beloved…) they tend to just be sooooo scarily cringe. The beginning of the movie is silly and enjoyable enough.. I know its based on mayhems story but i wish it stayed as a cutesy little metal movie. But metal wouldnt be as cool without the evil satan murder criminal stuff. Idk. The wig they give pelle is really fake looking and really lucious. All of the dudes look really pretty its kind of off putting. They are supposed to be ugly and scary to look at but they arent. The narration is so cringe. Male metalheads are so cringe. God i hate this movie. But rory culkin ughhhhh The way he looks in this movie. My boyfriend fr . Literally the movie is so innacurate to mayhems real story i dont feel weird saying rory culkin is hot in it because it might as well be a fake metal band. his bullet belt is real neat tho i want it. i guess i like the way its shot. Mentioned previously i hate the narration its literally so cringy i want to die. This movie is a lot better when you remove it from real events which isnt that hard to do because of the inaccuracies. Euronymous would be much cuter as a girl. necrobutcher in the movie is rly cute as well. They do a concert scene in yhe movie its pretty cool. I watched this in the dark and am photo sensitive so all the flashing lights were A Lot but rory culkin in that scene. Wow. Soooooo…. Its crazy. There were rly close up scenes of pelle cutting himself though which was pretty unsavoury. When they threw the pig head in the audirnce these girls started biting it ? Like girl what . After pelle died , euronymous grew a mustache that made me unnattracted to him. It was rly ugly and scary. I didnt like it up to the point varg was introduced and my hatred was overshadowed by his ugly and scariness. So fucking annoying. about 40 minutes into the movie i realized i had brought up a peace tea and i turned on my BRIGHT lamp to grab it and i couldnt find it. Just when i thought this movie couldnt get worse.By the time i found it i was pissed off and didnt want to drink it anymore. At one point rory culkin was wearing nothing but socks and magenta underwear listening to his little music with his greasy black hair and i said “Ugh hes soooooo me!” it was real unfortunate that pelle died so early into the movie because he was the only one that didnt have greasy hair. As the first metal head who showers it was rly scary. At one point varg tries to say something edgy and everyone just looks at him in silence and then laughs. Really eeuronymous wouldnt spmbarrassing for him and really funny for me. I wish eak and just sit there and look pretty. I wish that for all metalheads actually. U guys are soooo cringy . faust was so funny in this he did nothing but watch horror movies and occasionally be like “augh i want to stab someone” hes sooooo me. god i hate the dialogue. Its so bad. But varg was really ugly in this and rory culkin in a croptop. everytime varg spoke i broke out in sweat and nearly punched a whole through my laptop. By the hour mark i was over this movie. like get it over with and kill euronymous already. its taking way too long. Also i realized after that euronymous gf was played by queen of tumblr sky ferreira At one point euronymous is in the forest and theres a pelle jumpscare and then lots of flashing creepy things idek. However, with all that said, i could sit here and complain about how bad the movie is But i also could just be appreciative of rory culkin wearing a greasy black wig and his arms ! i hope you guys enjoyed my in depth review of Lords of Chaos. I seriously dont recommend this movie. For those curious,i rated it 2/5 on letterboxd purely because of my attraction to rory culkin. the movie tried to make u feel bad for euronymous which was sooo funny because literally what. Maybe The real norwegian black metal are the friends we made along the way. The gore is very graphic but in conclusion, complete waste of time. I feel like the movie doesnt pay attention to the music enough. Like of course their story is insane and provides a compelling narrative but.. besides euronymous saying in voice over “i made a new genre of metal!!” the music never comes into play. It also kind of indirectly portrays all metal heads as satanists and every metalhead who isnt one a poser which is far from the truth obviously. the men in this movie are insufferable and i think id have a significantly better time watching this on mute. Thank you rory culkin for being sexed up in this film! Is a girl supposed to hate a movie when a cutie patootie wears a cropped shirt?

If you are dying for a metal movie just watch deathgasm. So much better and also they are australian

Ok anyway.

everytime someone says "rizzler" a baby dies. Matter of fact anytime anyone ever mentions rizz in any capacity 12 old people fall over and many angels lose their wings and me personally i am struck by lightning. Ouch!!!! Stop that. Im so scared of people who say that. You are not normal.

As i write this, I am rewatching donnie darko. The OG manic pixie dream girl. My sweet angel my darling prince. I love this movie. Its so boring. Also why is the soundtrack so good? Echo and the bunnymen.. duran duran.. tears for fears..? Huh!!! Thats sooooo real. Hes sooooooooo me. Loga4n just liked my Instagram Story. Okay. Same with Rory Culkin as mentioned previously, im attracted to Jake Gyllenhaal in this but also his blue eyes are really scary. Not like daymen level blue for sure but like. Wth!!!! Stop looking at me like that. WAKE UPWAKE UPWAKEUP WAKEUPWAKEUP. Ya. I relate to donnie because i also see bunny people and sleep on golf courses. I wonder if this whole Mental Health thing was created for this movie? really interesting marketing strategy. Im so drunkkk @donniedarko im soooo drunkkkkk. They gotta give donnie an elf bar. The head over heels sequence is my favourite thing ever in the world. I Love drew barrymore. GOd i i wish i was her. Many people try to dissect the meaning of this film time and time again but ignore the big picture: Donnie is a little cutie in it!!!!!!!!! Lov him so much. My eyes hurt.

I need to stop napping. I have permanently trapped myself in a perpetual circle of tiredness. No matter what time of day im literally so sleepy about to die and fall asleep and die. At any time of the day im sooo down for a nap.