GIRLINSIDECOMPUTER

robot girl in your brains and ears and eyes everywhere all the time

OCTOBER22

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november 20

1:49AM

Tonight I stayed up and cried about the soldiers who fought in the first world war. Young teen boys who went through unimaginable horror. Breaks my heart. Now i am listening to Toccata and Fugue in D minor. Literally the funniest song ever, I am still crying. Earlier I read the worst essay ever. It was on Feminine Rage, my least favourite tiktok buzzword. So stupid. It was an analysis on Pearl and how women related to her, but it didnt go much further than just stating that. Of course people empathize with her, shes the fucking main character idiot. Also the writing style was really bad. I have been thinking a lot about the first world war. I am crying again. Music needs to be magical again. I think I need to go to the bookstore. If Someone reading wants to take me on an indigo date please message me I need to buy something. I am thinking maybe The Stranger or a Ryu Murakami book or All The Lovers In The Night. I am thinking about the term feminine rage again and I am upset. Of course we have to other the female. Rage is male exclusive, we had to come up with a separate term to define when women get upset. And usually in those scenes, the women are mad at men. When men have meltdowns in movies, It can be about anything. But of course womens anger must still be attached to men. Stupid. I dont have much to write about tonight. I have been thinking a lot about Christine Chubbuck. She killed herself on tv and was the first broadcasted suicide. The recording of her death is locked up, rightfully so. I have been looking into her case and I keep seeing people say, "Release the tape, it is what she wanted " and I partly understand that she did want it publicized, but what is it with peoples incessant need for violence? Its disturbing how much true crime fans do not view the victims as real life people with lives and families. Thats why I do not like getting myself involved with stuff like that. Jeff Buckley just started playing.. What a sad blog post. I am truly happy right now. Its those damn world war one soldiers. Makes me so sad. I have very limited empathy Im not sure why that in particular gets me...